Fairies and the Beauty of the Internet

I admit that after using the internet for some time, you get to see some really weird stuff. And there’s very little that can surprise you. And in the good belief that I had seen almost everything there is to see, I stumbled upon a post on Raincoaster’s blog (www.raincoaster.com). The post itself is interesting, but what really made my day was the comments to this particular post (“Mummified fairy remains found!“), and raincoaster’s responses to these comments.
The comments on this post take the art of spamming, flaming, sounding stupid, and making a complete ass out of yourself, to new wonderful heights.

Okay, to break you in, the story is about legit proof of the existence of fairies. As the title says, a mummified fairy has been found, complete with wings and everything. Even the bones seem to be hollow, like birds’, in order for them to be able to fly.

And without further ado, let’s go straight to the comments where it gets really interesting.

madicat:
the “fairy” looks real but it still isnt enough for me to think they are real and that they do exist sorry

raincoaster:
How can you say that? Every time you doubt, God kills a fairy! Why do you think he took Liberace away from us? EH?

Casey:
[…] but i dont think the mummified fairy is real cuz if fairys were real there bodies wouldnt be left behind because that will kill the meaning of “beleiving in them” its cheating if you only beleive in things once youve seen them.

raincoaster:
“But, don’t you believe in James Brown? And his dead body was all over CNN!”

… And so on…

So, we got the usual doubters and believers – and a lot of fun stuff among these comments too, believe me, but allow me to go down a little further. To what we all love – the haters:

mr. smuggles:
well i find the leaves were i am now u STUPID DICK FUCKER AND ALSO THE BODY COULD BE MADE OUT OF CLAY SO FUCK DAT

[…]

SO SHOVE IT UP UR VIGINA OR DICK MOTHER FUCKER CUNT

and then we got mr. smuggles again, this time writing as mr. sums:

mr. sums:
fairies are not true if u think that they r ture you r a dick fuckers and the wings look like leaves and the body looks like a brunt barbie doll

and correcting his (only?) misspelling into

mr. smuggles:
*VIRIGINA

Say what? Anagram for the state Virginia or what? An acronym for virile angina? Must be something interesting. ALL CAPS always make stuff interesting. And especially, CAPS MAKES IT TRUE!!!111one*!1.

Well this goes on for a couple of comments, with personal remarks directly aimed at raincoaster, and I see no need to bring them here.

What really makes a hit, is that after raincoaster kindly replies by posting this guys email address and ISP, the guy goes completely emo, and excuses for hurting somebody’s feelings:

mr. smuggles:
well im sorry to hurt your feelings but hey we’re in the real world and you have to get used to it so im sorry raincoaster and also do u know a girl called veirty i dont know how to spel her name correcrly but please inform me if you do

That goes on for four consecutive comments, each with a 2 minute interlude, begging raincoaster to answer.
And the cliffhanger:

mr. smuggles:
“um shes my bf and i told her about it and she put in a fake email adress like me”

Let’s read that one again. “she’s my bf”. Boyfriend? Never heard of female boys before. And second, if it’s your boy/girl/whatever-friend, how come you got those heavy trouble spelling her name?

The consistency in this one is also beautiful:

Privet info:
THIS IS SO BULL I DON’T BELEAVE THAT THIS IS REAL.GOD SAID NOTHING ABOUT FARIES IN THE BIBLE. COME ON PEOPLE IF THERE WHERE FARIES WHY CAN’T YOU FIND THE LEFT OVERS OF A DRAGON OR A UNICORN OR EVEN A FOSOLLISED DRAGON EGG? WHATS WRONG WITH YOU!!! DON’T TAke AWAY PEOPLES DREAMS OF TINK!

All right, what’s wrong with us? As far as I am concerned, you’re the one saying it’s not true, and that God said nothing about fairies in the bible, and at the very same time says that we shouldn’t take people’s dreams of Tink away. But I could be wrong of course, because again, CAPS makes it true.

I think that was about all for now, and I sincerely recommend you to go over and check out Raincoaster’s post, to be reminded of how beautiful a thing the internet really is.

To close off, I’d just like to bring one more comment, and especially the reply:

Natalie:
If you believe in God then you have to believe in fairies.
Fairies are elementals they are of the lower realms of angels.
Us as humans, God has given us gardian angels, now fairies are the same but they are the gardians of animals and plants.
Now I really dont care wether you believe me or not but I’ve seen a fairy, not like a little person with wings but a big ball of light floating through the room.

It’s very sad if you dont believe in Angels, as they sure do help you out a lot.

raincoaster:
That’s from the Gospel of St. Timothy Leary, isn’t it?

That is beautiful. Pure beauty. But as said, the whole thread is. Almost like Zen in reverse. A kind of metaphysical, infernal feng shui of the internet. Life-affirming to say the least.

So really, all there’s left to say is – Clap Hands! And remember, it’s good to be able to laugh sometimes too – after all, what do you think the fairies are doing right now?

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~ by Biyang Hansen on October 16, 2007.